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Post by Luna on Aug 30, 2010 19:48:39 GMT -5
"Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. I don't even know. But I do." Tears now threatened the edges of his eyes, although they didn't fall. He reached out and lay on hand on the arm that wasn't holding the knife, holding in her in a long and intense blue gaze. "Crystal, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not going to leave you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I want you to know that, always. Please, just... hand me the knife." He lowered his head a little. "I can't bear to lose you. I promise, we will find a way to make things better, in the end... just stay alive. Do it for me."
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Post by jlcgurl on Aug 30, 2010 19:59:08 GMT -5
I closed my eyes as the tears kept falling. I finally gave in and gave the knife to him. I lost all control and fell to the ground. I broke into sobs and barried my face in my hands. I had no idea what to do. I didn't even wipe the blood off my chest. All I wanted was to die right now. I wanted the pain to end, but no one would ever let me do it. I would just have to suffer through the pain to the end. Any physical pain I might ever go through will never amount to the emotional pain I have inside. It was all too much to bare. I can't believe my friends let me suffer. Why won't they just let me kill myself? God that sounds like a stupid question...
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Post by Luna on Aug 30, 2010 20:05:24 GMT -5
"Oh, Crystal..." Kierlan dropped the knife and kicked it so that it went sliding all the way across the room, well out of the reach of both of them, and knelt beside her, pulling her close to him. He wrapped his arms around her back and held her tightly while she sobbed, stroking her hair with one hand. "I hate this for you. I really do," he murmured, so soft that his voice was more of a rhythm against her ear. "It's okay, sweetheart," he whispered, although they both knew it wasn't. "It's going to be okay."
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Post by jlcgurl on Sept 2, 2010 18:35:07 GMT -5
"How do you know that? You don't. With my luck something could happen to me tomorrow. I could screw up and cause your death. Eventually everything will crash around me and it will be all my fault. No one understands the way I feel. You all think I'm insane! I just want to die... I know it may not be the best or smartest idea, but in my heart it's the only thing that feels right...." I cried not looking into his eyes. I hated talking like this to him, but I couldn't conceal all of this inside anymore. It was eating me up.
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Post by Luna on Sept 2, 2010 19:20:30 GMT -5
Kierlan sighed deeply and lay down on her bed, pulling her closely against him and wrapping one arm around her shoulder. He kissed her hair softly. "If I could help you... take away the pain... I would. I wish there was something I could do to make your life... less of an endless Hell, perhaps. But this helplessness, this knowledge that you're suffering, constantly, and I can't do anything to prevent it - I hate it." His grip tightened and he pulled her closer, gazing into her eyes. "I know you think that all the crap that has happened to you is your fault - that you've caused it somehow - but you haven't, Crystal. You're a wonderful person, wonderful but damaged. And I don't know how to help you get fixed."
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Post by jlcgurl on Sept 2, 2010 19:36:34 GMT -5
I knew everything he said was true. I couldn't deny it. I barried my face in his shoulder and cried. "I love you Kierlan. You have no idea how much you truly mean to me....." I said sweetly to him. I lifted my head, and I kissed his lips. This made the warmness in my heart glow. Tears fell as I kept kissing him. I didn't want this to end. The passion I was giving was surely making him feel the same way.
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Post by Luna on Sept 2, 2010 19:50:45 GMT -5
He hesitated in surprise for a moment, then smiled slightly and let himself melt against her gently, wrapping his arms around her back gently but securely. With one hand he lightly brushed the stray hairs out of her face; his blue eyes were deep with compassion, lit by the slightest characteristic glint of mischief.
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Post by jlcgurl on Sept 2, 2010 21:32:34 GMT -5
This all felt so right. I knew I loved him. There was no way the passion from either one of us could be faked. It was true love from both sides. I eventually stopped the kiss. I did it sweetly and slowly, ending it with a last little peck. I stared into his eyes, reading them carefully. They were still hard to read, but you could see some traces of emotion through out them. "I love you with all my heart Kierlan. There's no doubt about that." I said sweetly to him.
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Post by Luna on Sept 2, 2010 21:43:21 GMT -5
He grinned and stroked her cheek gently. "I love you too. I wasn't saying that just to talk you out of suicide, you know. I love you more than anything." He flopped back and pulled her against him once more, cradling her head to his chest. "Feeling a little better now?" His tone was light, even teasing, but it was a loaded question and they both knew it.
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Post by jlcgurl on Sept 2, 2010 22:07:38 GMT -5
"A little, but I can't say honestly that I feel good. I'm still completely far from feeling good or even just an iffy okay. I want to feel that everything can get better, that I can eventually just escape this place and start a better life. It all seems too hard to reach. I feel I'll never be able to accomplish that...." I said softly. I yawned and suddenly I was asleep in his arms.
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Post by Luna on Sept 3, 2010 15:14:10 GMT -5
"One day, maybe we can," Kierlan said softly, although he knew she couldn't hear him. She was fast asleep. He stroked her hair lightly with one hand, clearing it out of her face. She looked peaceful, for once. Untroubled. "Sweet dreams, Crystal," he murmured quietly, softly kissing her forehead.
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